Sunday, 28 August 2016

Falsely Accused

Well, here's a thing.

A woman of about 35-40, who I knew as a child, has been to the police to accuse me of - something.

I don't know what I've been accused of. I do know it's being investigated by the Sexual Offences team of three different police forces, including my local force, and my MAPPA officer is aware of the allegation.

My local police force has, three times, been asked to check I am OK, not harmed, not dead etc, and this is because my accuser has stated that she "did me harm" when I did whatever I did to her.

Worth noting is that in 1995, she accused me of something too, and when this was investigated by police, there was found to be no case to answer. On that occasion, I was accused of Rape, in a place I provably was not, as I was in Germany when it was alleged to have occurred.

Now, interestingly, she says this latest thing occurred in Kettering. And that she has been in contact with me on more than one occasion, having met with me in Kettering several times THIS YEAR...

As readers of this blog will know, I moved from Kettering to Milton Keynes in May 2013. And from Milton Keynes to my current location in June of last year.

I use Google Maps as a Sat Nav system, and this records my journeys. I am able to log into this on the Internet, and then see the dates and times of journeys, including stopping points etc. So I can see that I haven't been to Kettering since May 2013. and, more importantly, I can prove it.

Not only that, she accuses me of possessing a specific vehicle. I haven't owned a vehicle of that type since 2006, when it was seized by Police prior to my Remand, and never given back.

More importantly, I haven't had any contact with this person since 1995.

Now, as people know, if you are accused of significant offences, you get a knock on the door at the crack of dawn. Yet, not only has my MAPPA officer visited to calmly discuss these allegations, but so have the two police forces involved in the investigation - Northants where it is alleged to have occurred, and Leicestershire, where she lives. The investigating officers have asked me broadly if I will be able to recall my movements, and let them have access to my phone to prove contact or lack thereof. I am of course, completely happy to co-operate.

In other news, a person claiming they are this person has contacted me on twitter, claiming to know where I am, and that I have ruined her life. Given this, I have, of course, reported this threat to police.

But what to do next? I'm settled and working where I am, I'm happy here, I have neighbours who in some cases DO know, but don't care, and I have a MAPPA team I can work with. But I also have someone from the past trying her hardest to get me thrown back in prison, while the Police seem to be accepting that it's astonishingly unlikely to be true.

Whatever else may be the case, I have always admitted any offences I get caught for - there have been a few other than my "big" conviction, nothing significant, nothing worthy of custody. But this is an allegation which could put me inside for many years, and I know it is untrue.

What to do?

Saturday, 9 January 2016

Happy New Year

To all of my readers, a very happy new year.

Life goes on, and here in the west midlands, I'm now running my own business.

No, I'm not telling you the name, nor the type of business, but suffice it to say it's reasonably successful, a leader in its field and I'm able to support my community as well.

2016. This YEAR I will not reoffend.

Friday, 3 July 2015

Life goes on...

Lisa and I have separated. This was inevitable, because the relationship formed in a way that was never going to be sustainable, and I wasn't prepared to commit to her as much as she wanted to commit to me. It happened several months ago, and wasn't related to the house move.

We remain friends, and are still talking, but in the meantime I want to congratulate her on her new job, for a significant Adult mental health charity in the south-west of England.

But in the meantime, how does someone like me start a new relationship?

Well, the answer is - online, of course. Using a website, I started talking to a woman who we shall call Tannie, who likes in Derby. She also works in Adult Services, and is bloody good at her job, but spends the wrong side of 60 hours a week doing it. As a result, we don't get to see each other as much as I'd like, and to her credit she's recognised this.

But - lets go back a step or two. Tannie and I met online, and initially that's all it was gong to be. I happened to be coming home via Derby one day, and suggested we meet up at the OK Diner on the A38, for coffee. Just coffee - no intentions.


You know what it's like, you meet someone and it just feels right - and this did.

So... the question. Do I disclose or not? Do I tell her my history, do I explain Lisa...

The answer is - yes I do, I need the people around me to know about me and want to still be here, so I went to see her and disclosed. I then notified my Offender Management team, and they asked if they could have a chat with her, to which we both agreed yes.

Derbyshire police did that, thanks folks. And as a result, I can now say that I have a new girlfriend, and the relationship is supportive and not reliant on my past.

So, Life can, and does, go on.

Finally, though, the relationship with Lisa broke down because of me, and specifically because of the damage and harm I caused her at the start of this process. For that, I'm sorry - I can't fix it, I can't change it, and I'm now not even part of the solution.  

Never let any Sex Offender get away with claiming he didn't do any harm - I used to do that...

Thursday, 4 June 2015

Moved house again

I've moved again - I'm now the problem of West Midlands Police, who are fully aware of this blog and what I do here.

It scares me sometimes to see the relationships that I have built since my arrest. For example, there are some prison officers who I consider to be "the good guys" and would happily buy a beer if I was to meet them. One of these was an officer at Blakenhurst (Now Hewell) who once told me that the the UK had 2000 years of history, and the US had Stilton Cheese - the closest thing to culture they will have.

There have been a number of Police officers, mostly based in the MAPPA teams, but some on the very team that arrested me as well. No names, no packdrill, but again, all but one of these officers I'd buy a drink for.

The surprising thing is how many offenders I have built relationships with, whether VP's or not. Ben Gunn is just one example, but there are many others. Some of them I work with, some of them have worked with me, some of them I meet socially, and some we just use each other as a (lawful) support network.  This isn't offenders conspiring together to offend, this is ex-offenders supporting each other in not offending.

But the important thing about all of this is that, without exception, these people have treated me like a Human being, they have treated me as a person, not an offence. And, when we consider the paedosteria around nowaday, I have to be grateful for that, because it means that now I have moved, I'm used to being treated as a Human, not a number or a Sex Offender.

Thursday, 2 April 2015

It's been too long - sorry folks. But even Ben gets writers block sometimes.

Sometimes I get asked questions.

What are some of the long term effects you have experienced and is this still a part of your daily life?

Well, I don't like working with MAPPA... and I don't appreciate them asking me how my sex life with Lisa is going. My sex life with Lisa is fine, thanks, now do one.

Long term, well, I'm going to say that I can't change how I think. I am attracted to 14-18 year old girls, and no matter what I do, that attraction remains. All I can do is control how I behave,

Is it a part of my daily life - no, not daily. But yes, it still affects me.

I can't simply hop on a train to Paris for the day, I have to plan seven days ahead. I can't simply move house, my new address has to be approved and checked out. I can't pick up a female hitch-hiker, just in case, I can't have a random conversation with a stranger, just in case.

It affects me in ways that you wouldn't expect as well. I won't trouble you with what,

The law has recently changed - my convictions will be spent in a few years.  But until then I still need to disclose my offences to my employer (normally they are already aware and supportive) and to potential relationships. I need to be careful and keep myself safe, and I need to endure occasional visits from the police. But, all in all the relationship is good, so I don't have many issues.

This will affect me for the rest of my life, so I may as well get used to it :-)

Monday, 2 June 2014

Age of Consent - a discourse

The English age of consent, that is the age at which a person can choose to lawfully engage in sexual intercourse is 16 years of age.

Historically, there has been a different AoC for Homosexual activity, but this is now standardised across the board at 16 years of age. At that age, a person is considered to be endowed with enough sense and capability, and enough knowledge of the consequences of their actions to enjoy sexual activity with a consenting partner.

But why is the AoC 16? On what basis was the decision for 16 made?

Originally the age of consent in England was set at 12. However, in 1875 the Offences against the Person Act 1875 raised it to 13 in Great Britain and Ireland. The Criminal Law Amendment Act 1885 raised it to 16, where it has remained ever since.

Additionally, until 2003, this age of consent only applied to women, as men were deemed capable of consenting to sex, and therefore committing rape, at age 14 (Nowadays, in this enlightened age, a boy of ten can be charged with rape)

And against this you need to look at the age of majority in the UK.

Up until 1970, a person was considered a child until their 21st birthday. As a result, the Age of Consent at that time was 5 years before you achieved adulthood. Prior to the change in the law, it was 9 years before reaching adulthood. By comparison, nowadays, it's two years before you achieve your majority.

If you look at other countries, even in Europe, the average age of consent is 15. And virtually every country in Europe has a "Close in Age" defence or exemption. Except the UK.

This means that if your 15 year old son sleeps with his 16 year old girlfriend, she is a sex-offender.

Yet, and in my view, crazily, the UK High Court has decided that while a 15 year old girl can't consent to sex, she can ask her doctor for contraceptives, and the doctor cannot tell her parents, or the authorities about this? So the Doctor knows this girl is about to be abused (after all, Child Sex Offences are Child Sex Abuse) yet not only can't tell anyone, but gives her the tools she needs to be safely abused with!

So, back to how this Age of Consent was determined. Research about the maturity of our young folk? Or maybe by questioning people around that age themselves about what they want or need to protect them? No. A few stuffy old men in Parliament voted for it in 1885, when Teenagers hadn't even been invented.

And despite the age of consent bearing no relevance to the teenage pregnancy figures in the UK, successive governments have made the penalties for breach heavier and heavier to the point where merely asking his 15 year old girlfriend to show her breasts can get an 18 year old imprisoned for 10 years, even if she is on the pill. A 13 year old girl pregnant by a 12 year old boy? He's going down for 14 years, she's going down for life!

And in this environment, the authorities will argue that they never charge teenagers with sex offences in their own peer group. So why not enshrine that in law? Have a "Close in Age" defence. or even a "Close in Age" exemption. If two 14 year olds want to get down and dirty, and it's consensual, who gets hurt?

Age of Consent in UK? Time for reform.

Remember, the people causing the most sexualising of our youth is... our youth.

Thursday, 20 February 2014

Writer's block!

Nothing to report...

It's been a good few months, moved from one job to another, Lisa is doing well, I'm doing well.

What to say?

I've been, entirely reasonably, asked

"You pleaded guilty in order to spare your victim any further ordeal; however, you don't remember your offending. You did what they said you did, but you didn't harm anyone. You were punished for something you thought, not something you did. If Lisa is 20 now, then she was 13 in 2006."
And it is only fair that I answer those questions.


1) I don't remember what I am alleged to have done. However, the evidence against me was overwhelming. There was no point in pleading not-guilty to put Lisa through what, at the time, would have been the agony of a trial.

I took a gamble in two respects, firstly that she would, as promised, wait for me, and secondly that pleading guilty with good mitigation would get me a minimal sentence.

2) My offending was entirely non-contact. At no point did I physically do anything to or with Lisa. What I was accused of was all non-contact.

3) I've discussed the strange and convoluted definition of sexual grooming before.

4) Lisa is now 22, 23 this year. She works for a Mental Health charity as a Service User Advocate. We are a couple but live apart.